Did not go to school today as i am sick. Went to the doctor in the morning with mommy. Hahs. I dont like to go to the doctor alone because firstly, i dont know how to tell him whats wrong with me, and secondly, im afraid ! Hahs.

Finally, a day whereby i can rest the whole day. Exams are approaching next week and the best thing is i only knew it ytd. ;x Hahs.

My love life is fucking complicated. Fucking fucking complicated. Thats all i can say. Sorry to those who i`ve hurt. Im really sorry. I just cannot put my past with him behind me. I really cant. Pple say, '拿得起 放得下' but its really not that easy afterall. Arghs.

Got this from my sister`s blog.

True love is when you shed a tear and still want him.
It's when he ignores you and you still love him.
It's when he loves another but you still smile and say "I'm happy for you."


When all you really do is cry.... and cry..

He cheated on me twice. I shed lotsa tears for him. I told myself to hate him, but yet, deep down in my heart, i know how much i want him back. At times, he ignores me but yet, i know i still love him. I just cant bring myself to hate him. Even at this point of time, when he loves another, i stand at one corner and pretend im alright, im happy. But all i really do is just cry. Hais. I really fucking miss you boy.

Read back on my archives, and i saw this.

'Hais..Quarrelled with hubby yesterday. Made him cry. Omg..never would i think that he would shed his tears for me. Made him cry today again and he cried untill my pillow became so wet. Hais.. Sorry baby. I will cherish you and you know i need you alot, you`re my bolster, i cant sleep without you and i always need you to be there for me. Remember what you said to me? you said ' Today, on saturday, 12.24am, i promise you i will take care of you forever and dont let anyone bully you'. You must do what you`ve promised and take care of me ok? I dont want any other pple to be taking care of me, i only want you..i only want you to stand up for me when others bully me. Okay dear? Dont do stupid things and get yourself in trouble. I really will not know what to do should anything bad happen to you. You are already half of my life, without you, my life wouldnt be whole. I need you alot, you are my life, my soul and my boy! x) Hehe'

You promised me you would take care of me forever and not let anyone bully me. What happened to that promise? Hais. Whos gonna stand up for me now that you`re gone? Whos gonna take care of me now? Why did you have to break your promise? Cant you see what you`re putting me through? I thought you said you would never leave me? Why lie to me baby? You are killing my heart day by day.

是什么让你爱上了她 , 难道她比我对你好吗 ?
我爱你,你却爱着她, 我都为你心都碎了
是不是只有忘记我自己 , 我的泪才不会如雨下 ?
你曾想过我的感受 , 这样对我公平吗 ?

Fuck up. I miss you !